Episode 201: Pornography Doesn't Have Power Over You

Jul 10, 2023


Episode 201: Pornography Doesn't Have Power Over You

Introduction: Welcome to "Thrive Beyond Pornography." I'm your host, Zach Spafford. This week, my wife Darcy and I couldn't record a new episode due to our time in Wisconsin. However, we'd like to share an older episode that we found meaningful and relevant. In this conversation, we discuss why we grant so much power to pornography and how we can regain control. We recently had a valuable discussion on this topic during a fireside event in Wisconsin, where we explored ways to mitigate pornography's impact in our lives and relationships. We hope you enjoy this episode and look forward to bringing you a new one next week.

Topic: Understanding the Power of Pornography and Reclaiming Agency During a car ride, Darcy reflected on the recurring topic of pornography's influence in their interactions with church groups, individuals, and spouses. She wondered why pornography held such sway over people's lives and marriages, leading them to discuss this issue together.

The Power of Pornography and Our Perception: Zach highlights that pornography's power is relative to the control we give it. It only holds as much power as we grant it through our actions and decisions. They emphasize that pornography does not force itself into our lives; instead, we consent to it by choosing to engage with it.

Challenge of Negative Beliefs: They discuss the negative beliefs often associated with pornography, such as its ability to destroy families and marriages. Recognizing that these beliefs affect their actions and feelings, they emphasize the importance of understanding how thoughts influence outcomes.

Agency and Self-Empowerment: Zach explains that taking back one's power from pornography begins with recognizing our agency. He shares the concept of "Plan Ahead" as a tool to exercise agency in decision-making, enabling individuals to choose their actions rather than reacting impulsively.

Avoiding Extremes: While advocating for agency, they emphasize that they are not endorsing pornography use. Instead, they stress the significance of acknowledging the freedom to choose and make conscious decisions about their actions, without being controlled by emotions or perceived obligations.

Unity in Overcoming Pornography: Darcy suggests that couples struggling with pornography can overcome this challenge together by focusing on their positive qualities and achievements. She encourages partners to support each other, maintain understanding, and build intimacy by accepting one another for who they are in their journey.

Conclusion: Emphasizing the need to regain agency and take back control from pornography's influence, Zach and Darcy urge listeners to foster unity and understanding in their relationships. By recognizing their capacity to make choices and supporting each other, they can thrive beyond the negative impact of pornography and strengthen their bonds.

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