EPISODE 56: How do I know I'm ready to change?Oct 04, 2020
How can I tell that I’m ready to change?
Costs outweigh the benefits.
- Buffering provides something
- Acknowledge those benefits.
- How do you want to feel when you think about pornography
- “Client said, I want to feel disgusted.”
- That doesn’t acknowledge what pornography has done for you
- That also doesn’t acknowledge what it is costing you
- It is just a judgement that makes you feel disgusted because you like pornography
- So, honestly acknowledging the costs and the benefits of use will allow you to make the cost benefit analysis
Wanting vs commitment
- For the better part of 25 years I wanted pornography out of my life.
- I pleaded with Heavenly Father to take this problem away from me
- For lots of years it was just a want, the way a little girl wants a pony.
- I would ask and think that I just deserved it because I asked for it.
- It wasn’t until after we got married and Darcy found out about my pornography use that I really got committed.
- It wasn’t until it was costing me my self confidence and I was desperate to stop feeling like a terrible person who was never going to get rid of this problem that I started to take action.
- I started with bishops, who were great and loved me.
- They didn’t have the answers, they were there for me to confess but not to give me tools.
- They sent me to counselors who were there to hear where I was and witness my struggle and validate my feelings, but didn’t have any answers, didn’t have any real world idea of how I was doing and why I was where I was.
- They just told me I was an addict.
- So that lead me to the twelve steps… which was full of earnest men, trying to move forward with their lives.
- but that time only served to reinforce that I was “powerless against my addiction”
- Then when we had the twins, I took a step back. I saw that none of this had gotten me where I wanted to go.
- So I committed to figure it out by looking into my own mind, true principles that I could see from a gospel perspective and all the things I learned that made sense from what I had done before.
- This is what being committed looks like.
- Trying again,
- Trying something new
- Trying something different
- Trying anything I hadn’t tried before
- Trying things that were harder than anything I had done before
- I spent $40,000 and learned enough to become an expert in a field that I had begged heavenly Father to take out of my life.
- And I kept trying until I succeeded beyond anything I could have imagined.
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