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EPISODE 36: Letting go of Control May 17, 2020

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Why we use pornography even when we don’t want to.

When we try to control our feelings the results begin to overwhelm us. 

The paradox of control

On a personal level, it refers to the phenomenon by which the harder a person tries to control something, the more difficult it becomes to exercise that control. Examples that are often given of this phenomenon are: (1) the harder...

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EPISODE 35: Focusing on What Is May 10, 2020

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What is, not what should be

All good stories start at 330 am right. September 15 2001, just a few days after the September 11th terrorist attack, my missionary companion, the other two elders in our apartment and I were sound asleep in our seventh floor flat two blocks from the piazza garibaldi train station in naples Italy. 

 

On the minds of each of us was this great...

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EPISODE 34: Fear is holding you back May 03, 2020

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Making decisions from a place of fear. 

 

What is fear and why do we often make decisions from a place of fear rather than from a place of abundance?

 

Fear of missing out

Not having enough

Failure

Not being conservative enough

 

 

How is fear different than caution and how can we tell the difference?

 

What is it about making a decision from a place of...

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EPISODE 33: Why would my husband lie to me? Apr 26, 2020

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Why Would my Husband Lie to me? And other questions Wives ask when their spouse uses pornography.

Over the last couple of weeks my wife and I have had a number of conversations with a new client and his wife.

They had enrolled in my 13 week course and after one session she hadn’t felt like she had seen any changes.

This was hard for her because she was dealing with so much pain,...

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EPISODE 32: 4 Secrets to having more joy in your life. Apr 19, 2020

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-      The sun is setting and the kids are out making the gleeful noises that signal an amazing day is ending.

-      It’s about bed time and I am sitting down to record

-      Thinking, what is the skill the thing that my audience needs help mastering this week? 

...

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EPISODE 31: Accountability is Awesome Apr 13, 2020

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-      The more accountability we take for our experience here – what happens to us, what we create, what we see as external or internal struggles – the more choices we have

o  This is about ownership

o  Ownership creates power and choice

-      This isn’t about what you’re not

...

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EPISODE 30: 3 Questions that I ask when someone says, "I'm an addict" Apr 05, 2020

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Does it matter whether you are an addict?

Does it abdicate your agency?

Does that thought serve you? - Does thinking it make you more likely to stop using pornography?

 

 

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EPISODE 29: Emotions are a lot like bears Mar 29, 2020

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The urges are taking over my life – or that is kind of what a lot of us are feeling right now.

For a lot of us this last 2 weeks have been really challenging.

A lot of us are feeling trapped, stuck, and cooped up

This is driving a lot of behavior that we have not used to buffer in a long time.

For some of us it is eating –

 

A lot of people are going to pornography...

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EPISODE 28: Getting Things Done - Bonus episode Mar 25, 2020

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Is the corona virus lockdown getting you down, here is something to help you be your most productive self. There's even a free download https://www.zachspafford.com/getitdone

 

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EPISODE 27: Being productive helps you overcome pornography Mar 23, 2020

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Is the coronavirus lockdown getting you down, here is something to help you be your most productive self. There's even a free download https://www.zachspafford.com/getitdone 

 

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Listen for free

 

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EPISODE 26: Victim Mentality Mar 16, 2020

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Victim-hood and the blame game.

-      Not too many people think or express that they are the victim.

-      Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior

-      Indicators of victim mentality.

-      Blame

o  If my spouse would just meet my...

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EPISODE 25: Interview with Jessie Ellertson - Coach for Military Moms Mar 08, 2020

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