I don't know how and I can't
When I think of that phrase I often think of my kids.
I don’t know how to load the dishwasher.
I don’t know how to put a bag in the trashcan properly.
I can’t get it done in time.
I can’t fix the thing I just took apart.
I don’t know how.
Most of the time when we use that phrase or something like it we are essentially saying that we don’t have the skills or the will to accomplish something that we want done.
It is probably one of my least favorite phrases of all time.
I actually printed out about half a dozen 8 1/2 by 11 plain paper sheets that say, “They can because they think they can” and taped them up all over the house because I was so bothered by my children saying “I can’t” to things that, in my mind at least, they totally can do.
That quote by Virgil is pretty much everything you need to know about life and being productive and achieving your goals.
If I could boil all of the wisdom of the world down to one phrase, that would be it.
Think of the hardest things that have ever been done.
Going to the moon for instance.
That is a really difficult bit of physics, geometry, engineering, and sheer moxie.
When the space program began, everything they did was theoretical.
No one had been to the moon. No one knew the way to do it for sure.
These were guys with protractors, slide rules and spreadsheets. Not the kind that automatically calculate 200,000 cells at the click of a button. The kind that you literally have to pencil out on paper that fills an entire room.
When I look at that achievement alone, I think, “It doesn’t matter what I know. It only matters what I think.”
These men and women thought, “this can probably be done”.
Not one of them knew for sure, because they hadn’t seen it.
Even if one of them thought, “I know this can be done.” There were 100 people that could easily have said, “nope, you can’t do that, it’s too hard.”
Until we do something it isn’t done.
Until we learn how, we don’t know.
Until we figure it out, it’s just an idea.
John F. Kennedy, spoke about doing even when we don’t know how.
“We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills…”
The hard things that we choose to do organize us, they focus us.
But the second half is where this really shines:
“because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win…”
When it comes to overcoming pornography use or any other addictive behavior, it has to be a challenge we are willing to accept, not one that we feel others are imposing on us.
Then we must meet it head on, immediately, with intent to win and with our eyes set on a long difficult path knowing we will walk every inch of it.
“I can’t” is not a statement of fact.
“I can’t” is actually what is holding you back.
“I can and I choose to” is the phrase that will pay dividends.
The battle to overcome pornography is won in the thoughts we think.
Who is your coach and what skills are they teaching you?
What have you practiced today so you can win at game time?
What are your goals so you know the direction you are heading?
You can and you will know how once you have.