"The willpower trap"
I took this title from the book “Change Anything”.
Many of the conclusions I found there are lessons I have personally learned over time and through hard won experience.
You intuitively know that willpower alone won’t make up the difference between where you are and where you want to be.
I think every pornography user has used this phrase at some point, “I just wasn’t strong enough”.
I’ve seen it happen. It has happened to me. “I wasn’t strong enough” is what I would say to myself in the struggle against my urges and when I would eventually fail, it would be so discouraging, that I would want to give up.
You might think willpower is the only way to succeed in this deathmatch against your greatest difficulty. I was coaching a young man who said of his week, “I want to feel strong and I just don’t have it in me.”
The good news is, he is wrong and you are wrong. You don’t have to be strong enough.
You need a few key skills.
If I said to you, to be successful in this world you need to be able to lift a 1 ton weight. I doubt any one person, with just their physical strength could do it. In fact, current weightlifters max out at just over half that with all their training and effort.
But, if you knew what a fulcrum was and how to apply its principles, lifting 1 ton of nearly anything would not only become possible, but easy.
You see, the difference between people who are effective at changing from pornography users to those who say, “I can but I choose not to” know something you don’t. Yet.
There are a lot of little improvements, a lot of small adjustments, that when you make them none will seem effective at moving past your struggle.
Each one, however, will be the incremental step toward freedom that creates a boundary line you will eventually never cross again.
You can start making progress today.
Becoming a pornography free person is possible.
I am here to help you. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Sign up for a free mini session. It is a no obligation way to see how coaching will help you, and I promise you will leave feeling more capable to get the results you really want