Why aren’t you taking action?
Usually when I sit down with a client for a coaching session one of two things are happening in their life that they want help with. Either they are doing something that they want to stop or they aren’t doing something they want to start.
Both of these angles stem from a choice to stay in inaction.
Sometimes that is what I call, “active inaction”. Which simply means that we busy ourselves with tasks that may be important but allow us to feel a sense of “busyness” while bringing our ultimate goal no closer to completion.
Or we engage in another form of inaction, indulging in confusion. Which is what happens when we tell ourselves “I don’t know”.
Both of these forms of buffering are crushing our ability to achieve the great things we want to achieve.
For me, it is currently present in my desire to launch a podcast for the first Wednesday in October to augment the blog posts I write each week.
For many of you, it may be in that you think, “I don’t know how to stop looking at pornography.” Or “I don’t know if I should set up my free mini-session to begin seeing how coaching can help me stop looking at porn.” Which are both confusion indulgences.
Or you might think, “I’m too busy with everything going on” which is busyness without progress.
Either way, choosing inaction is holding you back from the person you want to be.
The moment I began making the progress I wanted to make in quitting pornography was the moment I did two things simultaneously.
Number one, I quit going to meetings that hadn’t produced the desired results. This meant that I had two hours plus travel time at my disposal that I had previously spent on 12 step meetings and therapists.
Number two, I decided that I was going to act and think like I had the answer, I just hadn’t seen it yet. Which meant, that I knew how to quit pornography even though I couldn’t articulate the process yet. “Yet” being the key word there.
I chose action. I chose to move forward the same way NASA chose to put men on the moon even though no one had ever done it before.
With those extra two hours plus at my disposal, I had time to experiment with what might work and determine what wasn’t working. I could meditate on my progress, watch my thoughts, look for new ways to think and practice skills that would make weak things strong.
I used the techniques that I learned in coaching to help my team (my own mind) to change the thoughts, feelings, actions and eventually the results I had been getting to create the person I wanted to be.
It wasn’t easy because I didn’t have a coach walking me through the process. I had to create the process myself.
But in all cases, I chose to act. I stopped thinking, “I don’t know” when confronted with the question “why had I looked at pornography?”
I chose to think, “I can figure this out.”
I chose to think, “I’m important enough to spend time and energy on me.”
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking you will fail or that you can’t imagine the progress that you want.
That is the best way to start. By seeing that, yes, you probably will fail. That is ok and any progress you make, even just recognizing your thoughts and feelings is progress and you have made some.
The truth is, anyone who has walked this road has been where you are. At the beginning.
Imperfect action produces greater results than perfect inaction.
You don’t have to be better than you are. You don’t have to have achieved anything. You don’t have to know how.
If you are ready, now is a good time to ask yourself, sincerely and honestly, “Why aren’t you taking action?”
Your answers will probably revolve around fear of failure, “I don’t know” and “I can’t yet”.
What if none of that is true and you give yourself permission to fail, permission to know and permission to do?
I think you’ll be surprised by the result.
I know I was.
If you are ready to begin the process of overcoming your pornography addiction or know someone who is, sign up for a free mini-session.
You'll be amazed at how much progress you will make in just 30 minutes.